Category Archives: Uncategorized

Lupus & Me: Mirror Mirror

4utu

Moon face.  It’s an incredible change to your face that seems to happen overnight when you are pumped full of things to suppress your own immune system. My chipmunk cheeks are one of the final reminders that just a few weeks ago I was in the hospital.  When I woke up that day, I felt fine.  It was lupus again with a reminder that fine was only skin deep.  Not even skin deep if I made the mistake of letting the sun rest on any part of my face for too long.

The last several months were peppered with visits to the emergency room and follow up visits–  if I didn’t have a diagnosis of lupus already, it would have been understandable if my family questioned my sanity.  My fingers would turn a scary shade of grape for a while.  My feet began to play dead, well that’s what it…

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Soy India Pata Rajada

He was in awe that there it was, on the screen. The streets he walked as a child. The place where they held the velorio for my grandfather when he died. The small rancho he hailed from, important enough for the internet.

4utu

By Estela Caballero, Chief Star Gazer and Executive Dreamer

Here’s what I know.  Soy India y orgullosa de serlo.  Soy India pata rajada y orgullosa de lo que soy.  I had heard bad words growing up and could hurl insults right back sharp as a whip.  When a toad of a girl and her fat brother called me and my sister pochas, I didn’t know the meaning but I could tell it was bad by the way they reveled in satisfaction.  To go tell my parents, that would go against the code.  During the daylight hours there were only a few things you better be doing in the house if you weren’t in school.  I didn’t like any of the choices–  cleaning, cooking, taking care of babies or more cleaning.

My sister and the rest of the Indios Pata Rajada clan. My sister and the rest of the Indios Pata Rajada clan.

The worst of the options if you…

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Two Loves & Hard Choices

Life can be tough.

4utu

choices

Epic poems have been written about this love or that love.  Sagas about the one that got away. Never has there been a more pressing choice between bliss and true love.  My good people, I give you a man and his dog– a masterpiece that captures two species contemplating a choice that may or may not have dire consequences on the ride back home. Lets hope they choose wisely and steer clear of dairy.

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New York: A Page From The Diary Of A Stubborn Girl by Estela

4utu

rocksSome people think it’s ugly here.  I used to agree.  I would go on and on about how I would never live here by choice and how I would move away as soon as I got the chance.  I did.  I had already moved out of my mom’s house when I decided to go from a small town in the dry lands of a state that was supposed to be the Evergreen state to Long Island, New York.  I enrolled myself in William Floyd High School and found a part time job at Fashion Explosion, a clothing store.  I had a small son, almost 2 years old, to support.

Flying into La Guardia was like something from a movie.  I was certain the plane was going to land right in the water. I couldn’t swim but I figured I would just float around on my back with Donavon, my little son, floating on…

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The So Called by Estela

 

So called daughter

Size, like of might

Hands capture the rain

Arms stretched for flight

So called distant observer

You there in the night

None will have names

This is your fight

So called little daughter

Muster that might

Gather your brothers

In this darkest of night

Should the hate that surrounds you

Give pause

Save your light

This world needs the so called

More than tonight

Here we are so called

A list that grows longer each night

n  fin

Who’ll Tell The Story

Happy New Year ❤

4utu

Dear friends and family,

As you and those you love step into a new year, find your wings, fasten them tight and fly ❤

Estela

In the years before children

Lose wings

They do fly

To them the impossible

Impossibly bright

Vision gives way

Not a change

Not a light

Pray gentle creatures

Run far, farther

Fly

In the time before crows

Grew legs, only to climb

Departing sweet senses

Dull and unkind

What choice, now a mother

A sister of sight

Heart sinking sorrow

Inevitable flight

Who tells the story

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