Kingdom of Chaos by Estela Caballero

They say if you have enough information about what is happening now, you can predict the future.  They’re called algorithms and even though you might not believe it, you have used them.  The Weather Channel–it’s one of the main reasons we got to algorithms.  When I first heard that I thought it meant something else.  I’ll save you from making the same mistake–  this is not about Al Gore Rhythms, like Al Gore dancing.  Not that kind of rhythms.

There are two kinds of physics, the big and the small.  We are taught that one rules all things big and the other describes the small.  Nothing rules the smalls.  Nothing we understand yet, anyways.

In the land of these laws, I meet the definition of big.  My problem is there are millions of smalls and their smalls floating around in me, I am a kingdom of chaos.  Memory and time have robbed us of the knowledge that might lead to that one last thing we need.  It will be the last thing until it’s not.  Maybe it’s better this way.  Among us today walk a few keepers of the ancient language. They share it freely and we nod, hurry by and smile.  We’re in a hurry, searching for that thing.  So she paints.  So he plays.  I know, who has the luxury of time for things like that– music and art.

What’s the difference between sound, music and noise?  I went to the wisest man I know.  “It depends on who you ask,” he said, like that was an answer.  I began to consider I may need to expand the circle of people I know.  Me, personally, I don’t like a lot of noise.  Now my heart, riddled with armies of smalls and their armies of tinies– they dance to a tune we won’t understand for years.  It sounds a little like noise to me.  They like it and I don’t tell them to turn it down– haven’t you ever heard the saying, “The heart wants what the heart wants.”

What do you see when you shut your eyes?  The wise man was gone and in his place a boy.  The wise man was off his game and this boy didn’t inspire much confidence.  He appeared to put much effort into what would have naturally occurred about 18 times in a second.  In fact, he kept his eyes shut for two seconds and basically erased 40 blinks from the universe.  All to give me an answer.  Maybe the wise man told him about me and my impatience.  As I closed the door to his room, I tried it.  Damn it, he’s right.  I had it all wrong.  Chaos and order seem at opposite ends.

That was the last time I looked for an answer from wise people or those filling in for them.  A few days after my walk I heard the most ridiculous thing.  Rainbows are completely round.  I would settle this quick, fast and in a hurry.  The source was a pesky know it all that took great pleasure in throwing completely random information at me when I was making a good faith effort to do important things.  He worked me like a remote control.  It’s true.  How would the Double Rainbow guy from YouTube take this?  He could dress up a cat and have him play piano and mourn the double rainbow that never was.  What about all those leprechauns?  We’ve all seen what happens when they lose their pot of gold.  I don’t think Hollywood has enough pixie dust to capture the wrath of the entire population of leprechauns.  If the know it all knew and Google knew, why had this important information never reached my ear or inbox?  I am checking the settings on my spam filter.  There could be emails from Steven Hawking accepting my invite to guest blog.

If you ever doubt the magnitude of everything and whether we are in the big or small, stop looking and chase a rainbow.  We’ve built kingdoms around the assumption that we live in a place where math and art are opposites.  Reminders of a time when knowledge hadn’t been broken apart in an attempt to keep it that way are everywhere.  Music, math and art are one and the same.  You don’t have to choose, only accept the possibilities that there is greatness in you.



You don’t have to choose weak or strong.  Beautiful or intelligent.  Brave or afraid.  It’s still a world with rainbows and this is the wise man’s gift.  Order and chaos depends upon where you sit.  From some places, rainbows are round.  True story.