I took this picture a while back. I was at my desk at the day job and doing something super important, I’m sure of it. I was in a hurry and running late. I couldn’t find my big notebook so I grabbed the little one with The Cat In The Hat cover. The little notebook was too small to use for meetings so I kept it near my phone for ideas and quick notes.
It would make it into my purse a couple times a week along with the five or six pens I was sure to have collected by the end of the day– I have a problem with pens. We can talk about that later. My office is the first stop for any co-worker missing a pen. They have come to understand I’m like a pen magnet and somehow I end up with their pens even when I tell them to have me empty my pockets before leaving their office. Despite my pen swiping, I have managed to build a solid career.
A busy day becomes a hectic week and in 30 days I would be asking myself where the time went. At the moment I saw the note my son had left for me I remembered why. Why I was so happy the day I got my first job ever, why I cried when I got so sick with lupus that I had to put everything on hold, including work. Teenage mothers with no car and a family to help support quickly find that jobs are hard to come by for everyone, I was no exception.
Of course I have an identity beyond the relationships in my life. I am not just someone’s mom or someone’s wife. I am the “best of the hole this Oregon world.” I’m their mom. I’m his wife. That’s the identity that has made me pretend to be unafraid as I step into unknown territory. Whether it’s an interview for a job I don’t know if I’m ready for or a walk on the Oregon Trail holding hands with a group of people I would be lost without.