Autism Tales: Best Love Note Ever

Dear Mom

I took this picture a while back.  I was at my desk at the day job and doing something super important, I’m sure of it.  I was in a hurry and running late.  I couldn’t find my big notebook so I grabbed the little one with The Cat In The Hat cover.  The little notebook was too small to use for meetings so I kept it near my phone for ideas and quick notes.

It would make it into my purse a couple times a week along with the five or six pens I was sure to have collected by the end of the day–  I have a problem with pens.  We can talk about that later.  My office is the first stop for any co-worker missing a pen.  They have come to understand I’m like a pen magnet and somehow I end up with their pens even when I tell them to have me empty my pockets before leaving their office. Despite my pen swiping, I have managed to build a solid career.

A busy day becomes a hectic week and in 30 days I would be asking myself where the time went.  At the moment I saw the note my son had left for me I remembered why.  Why I was so happy the day I got my first job ever, why I cried when I got so sick with lupus that I had to put everything on hold, including work. Teenage mothers with no car and a family to help support quickly find that jobs are hard to come by for everyone, I was no exception.

Of course I have an identity beyond the relationships in my life.  I am not just someone’s mom or someone’s wife. I am the “best of the hole this Oregon world.”  I’m their mom. I’m his wife.  That’s the identity that has made me pretend to be unafraid as I step into unknown territory.  Whether it’s an interview for a job I don’t know if I’m ready for or a walk on the Oregon Trail holding hands with a group of people I would be lost without.


2 thoughts on “Autism Tales: Best Love Note Ever”

  1. Thank you Nicky! I thought the note was beautiful too. There is so much out there about children with autism being distant– to some extent, it’s true. I’ve found that part of it is that people expect that so they also don’t reach out as much to try and that might also be why the child never gets comfortable with those exchanges most of us associate with how we convey love. Every child different. Every family different. The experience so unique at times the word spectrum is fitting. My family’s dance on the spectrum is fast approaching it’s 17th year. These glimpses into Gustavo’s thoughts and how his feelings sound in words we use everyday, just said in a little different way is one of the best gifts in my life.

    I appreciate you taking the time to visit and hope to see you at 4utu again soon!

    Liked by 1 person

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