Beauty & Me by Estela Caballero


I’m the one on the left … <3

Originally posted on 4utu :

How is it possible for two people to look at the same thing at the same time and when asked to describe what they are seeing, you might think they must be on opposite sides of the world?  It happens–  judges see it all the time with cases relying on multiple eye witnesses to the same crime.

It happened to me.  My sister and I have many shared memories.  We are only a year and a few weeks apart and growing up we were always together.  She was born with a small birthmark on her neck.  It was there since she was born so I didn’t think of it as different.  As we got older it took on a puffiness and became increasingly red.  It looked like a little strawberry.  One day at my great grandmother’s house, we were running around and around the little place.  We were nowhere near…

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My Uncle Spock by Estela Caballero


True story. To each and every person that takes time to visit 4utu and like or comment on the bits and pieces of a life…much love!


Originally posted on 4utu :


Even though the show always said Spock was Vulcan, I was sure he had some Mexican in him.  Side by side pictures of Spock and my dad beg the question, “Might they even be brothers?”  Don’t go nuts Trekkies, I know his mom was human and his dad was Vulcan.  Spock was a weekly visitor into our home.  Sure, it was just a show but we only had three channels, maybe four if we made my little brothers take turns holding the square shaped antennae just right.  The good shows were something we looked forward to.  It’s hard to explain to someone who can’t remember a time when you couldn’t pull up your shows, anything really, at any time.

Before I could tell time, I used tv shows as a reference.  As my mom would hurry out the door after making us food to eat while she was at work…

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The Prodigal One by Life Documented by Estela Caballero

Originally posted on 4utu :

Addiction is beyond tough.

Estela Caballero

Tough love

Life moves on

My tough heart

Heavy heart

All I can do is weep

Tough love

Should I have bended more

Like the proverbial tree

Will you knock on my door


I fear you are in the prison of my dreams

Tough love my son

Doesn’t feel like love my son

Have I lost you

Once again to the streets

Tough love

The cycle son

Is killing you and me

Tough love

Hurts you

Hurts me

I swear that was you

Down the street

Tough love

I look away

It’s not you

I see

Tough love

My son

Is this really what must be

Tough love

Look where it’s got me

Tough love

Heavy heart

And a boy with no place to sleep

Tough love

As hard as I can be

I see your face everywhere

Please wake from

The seemingly…

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Herman, The Monster by Estela Caballero


I was on a mission to see an ancient creature that lived during the time of the dinosaur and are known to live more than 100 years.  These massive ghostly white fish can weigh up to 1,500 pounds and live in the river not far from my home.

Long before I made it to the viewing station, I was captivated by things we so often miss and fail to appreciate.  I can’t explain why I am drawn to such images.  I took a picture of the reflection off the water at this fish hatchery along the Columbia River and the beauty of the day captured in this moment almost made me forget I was here to see a prehistoric monster fish. A friend told me that a sturgeon made this particular place his home.  Although he is not captive, he stays.  He was even named by the people who operate the fish hatchery and viewing station– Herman.  He wasn’t very photogenic.  The glass in the underwater viewing area was great for seeing but not for pictures.

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Here’s an picture from the internet showing friends of Herman in the wild.  It’s no wonder the TV show, River Monsters did

awildsturgeonan entire show on the quite beautiful giant that I was lucky enough to have met in person.  In 1806, Lewis and Clark documented an account of seeing sturgeon on the Washington state side of the Columbia river.

I was surprised to find that the sturgeon has not been studied much.  It’s possible that Herman’s neighbors, the salmon, have overshadowed this giant. Today, salmon are the Brangelina of the fish world– very high profile.  Although Lewis and Clark wrote about seeing Native Americans catching sturgeon, it wasn’t one of the fish sketched in the journal.


Sturgeon don’t often make the news these days but the history of the United States may have been different if not for them.  In stories of Jamestown, the first permanent English settlement in the Americas, it became known as “the fish that saved Jamestown”.  1609 through 1610 is referred to as “The Starving Time” in the history of the new people of Jamestown.  Some even speculate that had it not been for the availability of the sturgeon along with the English settlers knowledge of how to catch them, Virginia might be a Spanish speaking land today– along with many other areas.  Sturgeon can be found in England.  It must have been comforting for the settlers to see something familiar in their new home.  However, the giant fish, along with so many other things, marked the start of a change.  In the 1600’s, in the homeland the Jamestown settlers left, it was illegal for anyone other than the king to take sturgeon.anoldmaplewisclark

His size is what most people walk away remembering.  It’s the largest freshwater fish in North America.  As we drove away, it was the adaptability and resilience of the sturgeon that stayed with me.  That and the idea that Herman wasn’t a monster at all. He may not be as well known and glamorous as the salmon but his family has seen more than we are likely to ever know.


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