It’s Time To Unfrenemy Yourself

4utu:

Unfrenemy…it’s a real word now :)

Originally posted on 4utu:

“Things are too good.  It scares me.”  How could I be worried about something like things running too smoothly?  I had a vision in my head of what a good life would look like and now that it appeared I was in the thick of something good, I couldn’t stop worrying.  Why?

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.  Procrastination, letting others put you down or being overly hard on yourself are some of the sneaky and mean things we do to ourselves.  Here’s a quick self test– how do you respond when someone compliments you?  If someone says, “Hey, I like your shirt!  You always look like you just stepped out of a fashion magazine” do you quickly tell them it’s your sister’s outfit and if they saw what your real style was like they would have to call the fashion police?  There is a difference between arrogance…

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Don’t follow your dog’s advice on hair. Ever.

4utu:

I went with the cat’s advice this time. Somehow I ended up with bangs. When he tried steering me towards a mullet I started questioning his motives. He’s not one to be outdone, especially by a dog. Pictures coming soon….

Originally posted on 4utu:

He usually has good advice
He usually has good advice

I’m all for taking inspiration from nature. Here’s an instance of taking it too far. My dog has beautiful color. He’s lucky– it’s natural. I had his beautiful coat in mind as I walked back and forth in the hair color aisle. The end result was less than natural. True story.

Foiled again
Foiled again

As I waited for a new box of makeover magic, I had plenty of time to think about where I might have went wrong. I thought about calling the hair colorist expert at the number on the box. Instead, I reflected deeply. Perhaps the dog wasn’t the best person to ask about my new look. Imitation is the best form of flattery. He was pleased with himself.

Plenty of time to think
The color only took at the roots

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When No One Is Watching

Forget about all those perfect couple pictures we can’t seem to get away from on Facebook proclaiming endless love.  The way a couple talks to each other when things aren’t at their best says more about the relationship than a carefully selected profile picture.  It’s easy to be nice to each other during good times.  If you want that happy picture to be your reality, here are a few things to keep in mind.

“Remember in 1999 when you said….”

Don’t go there.  There’s nothing wrong with storing canned food and other important non perishables like the complete DVD set of Justified so you’re prepared for the zombie apocalypse– just don’t take the same approach with grudges.  A stockpile of old issues you keep as a comeback can be toxic to a relationship.  Too often, a couple will argue about something and instead of moving on it pops up in every argument over the next year. If there is one particular incident that keeps creeping into your conversations you both need to agree to figure out what the real problem is and then let it go.  If it comes up again in a different discussion, try yelling “zombie” as a reminder that you agreed to fight fair.  That alone might be enough to change the tone of the conversation and lead right to make up time!

Sticks and Stones

Sometimes couples can treat each other worse than they would treat an enemy– name calling, sarcasm, yelling or any other type of verbal intimidation— it doesn’t have to be physical to hurt.  Everyone has someone in their life they really respect.  Would you be embarrassed if someone you look up to heard how you spoke to your loved one?  That’s a good sign that something needs to change.  If you do say something you regret, a sincere apology is a good start.  Don’t make your apologies meaningless by doing it again.

The Cycle

If you have children, they are learning about what it means to be in a relationship from you.  They are watching and listening.  What they see shapes their definition of what a relationship looks like– it becomes their normal.  Be the kind of husband or wife you would wish for your children.

There is a vulnerability that comes with love.  How you talk to each other matters.  How you talk to others about your spouse matters. If a relationship is beyond repair, the things I shared probably won’t make a difference. Sometimes you have to move on.  If you want to keep the love strong, be kind, especially when your partner least expects it!

I do

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Look for the ship

In the distance, afar

Regal and grand

In a dream filled with stars

Be gone hazy mist

Let me dream as I wish

Nothing can take you

Bright diamond

On waves blue

If I land on the shore

Happen just like before

Dear time, please rewind

A permanent kind

If you see past the mist

No doubt it exists

Wondrous dream where I met you

Our promise of I do

Near the light

Moonbeams bright

This is love true

The Sunny Son Song

“I know a little boy

Named Sunny Buddy Bull

And Sunny Buddy Bull

Is as happy as you”

   —Singer and song writer, The Best Mom In The World

We’d all bounce that fat baby brother around trying to keep him happy.  If he cried, we were all in for it.  We all loved him so it wasn’t really a chore.  He had brilliant bluish eyes and a disdain for any type of clothing. 

I had never heard her sing before then but I wish to hear her songs all the days of my life.  As she rocked Sunny Buddy Bull, she sang the story of him, the story of they and the story of us.

To be continued….

 

It's your life. Drive!

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